Do you have a "favorite" child?

Question

I feel like a horrible mother writing this. 
I was in high school when I had my first. I had a life threatening pregnancy, and was hospitalized several times. When she was born all I felt was fear for the future. She has always been more "difficult" than the average kids from parenting groups. She didn't sleep through the night until 4 years old. She's now 6 and is very whiny, demanding, picky, and bossy. She throws tantrums and everything I cook is "gross" and even after daily reminders she still has to be reminded to say thank you. She had stranger danger from ages 1-3 years old and screamed at anyone who wasn't me. (Of course there are amazing qualities - she's an amazing learner, has a great imagination, loves to read with me, etc)
We planned our youngest, who is 1 and a half has been a breeze (so far). Everything has been "easier" - she slept through the night very early on, eats everything I cook, doesn't whine much. I got to feel excited when I was pregnant with her as we're financially stable now and aren't teens. Even my labor and delivery was easier.
I feel like a horrible mother and I would never say it aloud but I feel terrible as I have a "favorite" right now.

Accepted Answer

It's not about the children, it's about you. 
You love yourself more now than when you had your 6yo, and your life is more comfortable so you're able to function better this time. It's not your fault, you were very young and facing a lot of challenges, so you probably didn't feel very confident and secure as you navigated motherhood with her. Based on your writing, you're much more confident with your youngest baby and that's probably why things are so much easier (or at least seem that way). 
Perhaps you love your children equally, but you harbor some resentment for the challenges you've faced with your 6yo. 
Sometimes I think I love my youngest more, but then I remember the wonderful qualities of the child who made me a Mama. Your kids, along with their struggles, are what have made you the resilient Mama bear you are today.

Answer

I think feeling it is okay. You can't control your feelings. But I don't think your actions showing it are okay. Not saying your actions do! I just mean it's totally fine to feel it just don't let her feel it. I knew growing up my sister was my dad's favorite but she is his first and I'm his step-daughter. But seeing him treat her better was really hard for me. Now we are much older and I might be his favorite haha. But I still hold resentment even though I try my best not to show it.

Answer

You don’t love or have a favorite I think you’re just struggling but every parent struggles. My oldest is way more difficult then my youngest was. Just gotta love them all and treat every babe equally. They’re just at different ages and phases of their lives.❤️

Answer

I wouldn’t say I favor one over the other 4 but my 4 year old is by far my easiest child he’s chill and doesn’t get into shit he just sits and is a good child most the day I’ve had kids that were absolutely terrors when they were around the same age 😂 they grew out of it kind of. He’s picky though doesn’t eat much unless it’s junk food he’d rather die then eat a good healthy meal 😂 my terrible twos child though he’s like a garbage disposal he’ll eat anything I put in front of him he doesn’t give a damn, but he’s to the age now where he can’t stay out of anything and acts on impulse alone😂 all kids are different you may have another that just happens to be worse then the first😂 you just have to be able to adapt and that sucks sometimes

Answer

My mom says I’m her favorite but I doubt she had a favorite that early on. Maybe once we got older.

Answer

Every child is different.  The first child was harder than the second one but that's okay!! 💯  you'll be okay!!

Do you have a "favorite" child?

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