Please tell me how stupid I am.

Ok so I need harsh words to snap out of this circus.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 9 years. He’s always cheated on me with multiple girls and I’ve always forgave him. I believe in God and have faith he’s going to change.

The girls always left and I was the one to stay until he met “Luz” he got her pregnant and baby is now 4 yrs old. He told me they weren’t together and I still stayed. Then not even a year later Luz is pregnant again and she told me. I told her that having kids wasn’t going to keep him around and that she’s only the mother of his kids , NOT his girlfriend. She aborted the baby.

From the evidence she left around his house for me to find , they were on and off. More off than anything but she would always come around in a romantic way. Last year she got pregnant again but he told me right away. We were on and off while she was pregnant. She messaged me saying that I have nothing holding us together while she has 2 kids. That I should walk away and stop playing like this is a game when there’s children involved. I told her I would always be in his life as a friend and that I would back off so they could fix their family. Obviously me and him got back together and now his newborn is 4 months old.

Went back to his house and found evidence she left for me to see yet I’m still around.

I’ll include that after her getting pregnant the first time there’s been other girls he’s been seeing as well. But she’s the only other constant girl besides me. 9 years I’ve been with this guy!!!!!!!!

*** I would like to add that Luz didn’t know about me until she was 8 months pregnant with his child, when I messaged her she had no clue and I send her proof, so I can imagine the pain she went through as well****