Is it possible for a mother-in-law to love her very young grandkids and hate their mother (daughter-in-law)? My husband is trying to work out a relationship dynamic where I don’t ever have to see my MIL so kids can enjoy a relationship with MIL & himself

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Nah. I wouldn’t have my kids around someone who doesn’t like me. People always have Ill intentions.

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Of course she can still love her grandkids. But, in my experience it’s difficult to have a close relationship with a family member that doesn’t get along with your parents.

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I think it’s possible but personally I wouldn’t allow it. This kind of family dynamic is toxic and dysfunctional imo. Kids notice everything, I wouldn’t want my children exposed to unhealthy family relationships because it could negatively impact them.

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If someone doesn’t like or respect me, they will not be around my kids period. Time for MIL to grow tf up and act like an adult if she wants a relationship with her grandkids. If she’s that petty, imagine what she would be telling your kids about you behind your back

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I feel like if you are a good person and she just doesn’t like you I couldn’t trust her but if your not the best person or give her good reasons not to like you then I can see her being good to the kids still. If you aren’t giving her any reasons she just the awful person then your husband should do something about it.

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I despise my ex’s family, and I’m sure they feel the same way about me.  My ex is entirely out of the picture. I still try my best to allow my daughter to have a relationship with them. They don’t make much of an effort, but I try my best to be accommodating when they do. 
I want my daughter to have as many loving family members as possible. So unless someone was bad mouthing me to my child, I’d do my best to allow them to have a relationship.

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Yes, they are completely separate people. It may be more difficult for a relationship to be fostered between the grandmother and the kids, but they are separate people from their mother so of course someone can love them and not their mother. But depending on the reason for her disdain, I’d be weary about allowing a relationship to happen between my kids and someone who doesn’t respect me.

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Yes I believe so. Although my grandmother (dads mum) hated me and all my siblings because we were my mothers children. She never got to know us and showed no interest at all. So…. It can go both ways, although I think it’s more that MIL will love your children especially if her and her son are close

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Yea, mil can absolutely love her grandkids and hate their mother
But if I were you- and I KNOW this is hard- really limit the time she spends with them. 
My mother in law hates her daughter-  her own daughter.  But loves her grandkids.  The grandkids are older now, early teens, pre teens, but that woman has said absolutely vile shit to her grandkids about their own mother.  
Now those kids don’t see their grandmother anymore and that was because the grandkids don’t want to be around her for being so mean to their mother.  It’s a sad situation all around but let me tell you, I’m good with my MIL (even tho she’s toxic, I’ll see her but I don’t trust her) but if she ever shows any kind of hostility towards me my kids will not be around her ✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽

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Long story short…My MIL hates me. The feeling is mutual at this point. The issue isn’t the hate. The issue is her lack of control. My son doesn’t know that I hate her. But she cannot control having “rampages”. So she doesn’t get a relationship with her. I’d rather my son remember good things about her than to see her bad side. She just can’t seem to make a sacrifice in order to have a relationship with him. So I know our decision is the right one.

Is it possible for a mother-in-law to love her very young grandkids and hate their mother (daughter-in-law)? My husband is trying to work out a relationship dynamic where I don’t ever have to see my MIL so kids can enjoy a relationship with MIL & himself

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