How did you stop allowing your in laws to stop hurting your feelings?

Makayla

Mainly MILs. Except my MIL is the stepmom, their mom passed. I was doing good, didn’t let it hurt my feelings anymore about not seeing my daughter and then now it has hit me allover again. My SIL and I are quite close, known each other since we were 11. She’s pregnant with her first and I’m pregnant with my second. My MIL has gone to visit my SIL 3 times in one week and SIL lives right down the road from me. Last time I’ve seen my MIL was over a month ago. When we see each other in person which is rare now, she always tells my daughter “Mimi needs to come see you on her days off” but then her days off are spent watching her other granddaughter or now with my SIL, doing her laundry, picking up food for her just because she’s got a cold. I’ve been heavily pregnant with covid and a toddler yet never got that type of treatment 🤷🏼‍♀️ I had called her crying when my daughter was a newborn begging for help, anything. I was told no. But the moment my SIL has a cold you betcha she’s over there tending to her! I can count on one hand how many times my MIL and FIL have seen my daughter when she was a newborn. They don’t ask for pictures, they don’t ask to FaceTime her, they don’t ask about her, nothing. I’ve vented about this to my SIL and her response is “once my baby is here then you can bring ___ over and we will force them to spend time with her” which rubs me the wrong way completely because that’s her saying 1. They’re going to be seeing her child more than mine and 2. The only way to get them to be in my kids life is if I “force” them.

The funny part about all of this is my SIL doesn’t even like my MIL like I have, she’s using her. My MIL is buying her washers, dryers, paying to do her laundry until her new set is there, buying 2 of the biggest containers of detergent, threw an entire shower for her for $1,500 plus gifts. I just genuinely wanted my MIL in mine and my daughters life and enjoyed her company. I don’t know where everything went wrong but I’m ready to not have my feelings hurt anymore.

So my question is…how did YOU get over your in laws picking favorites? How did YOU stop getting hurt when grandparents don’t care to see their grandchildren?