I was told that we’re spending Christmas over at my sisters place and of course we’d be eating there too. We always spend Christmas at my mom’s place so that was very unexpected. I also learned that my sister is going to be cooking most of the food for Christmas. My sister can cook it’s just the fact that I don’t feel comfortable eating over there nor food that was made over there.

I love my sister a lot and I don’t mean to bash her place but it’s just super gross and dirty.. her carpet is nasty and even feels nasty, her dog uses it on her carpet and hasn’t had an bath in over a year now, it’s always trash everywhere, the kitchen is always piled with dishes and it’s always so disgusting in there, my niece is sick 24/7 and will ALWAYS touch the food when nobody is looking (she is a very sneaky little girl lol), gnats are filled in the kitchen, their rooms are also disgusting.

She just had a baby a few months ago so it’s even worse but it was like this even before she got pregnant. My mom and little brother actually got sick from eating over there. I don’t really recall what they had but they were REALLY sick. My mom couldn’t even get up from bed. Literally everywhere she lived it was so disgusting I couldn’t even stand being inside of there for long periods of time. I also know this because I used to visit her 24/7 when we were living in Ohio. We’re in GA now and we literally live 15 seconds away from each other so I visit from time to time.

I’m 9w2d pregnant with my first and I’m trying to be very careful and clean with everything due to my anxiety and paranoia that has gotten worse since I’ve found out I’m pregnant. I really want to spend Christmas with my family but I just don’t want to spend it in a dirty environment. Especially eat food that was made there… I just know I’ll be super uncomfortable and will probably starve the whole day if I end up going. I feel bad for feeling this way but at the same time, you can’t blame me.