Husband is working my nerves

My husband is working my nerves and not in a “awe that’s so cute” way. Yesterday we went shopping for Valentine’s Day stuff for the kids to take to school. Knowing him, I put extra in the cart and separated it from what’s needed for school. He wasn’t with me while I was picking the items, we usually separate at the store because we can’t tolerate each other’s shopping style. As we were checking out he saw the two separate piles on things and I told him “I’m getting extra because I know you’ll want some and the bags of candy have the exact amount I need for the students”. He put the extra stuff back and said he didn’t want any. This morning as I’m getting the kids ready for school I look at the event totes and the candy is opened. Not only is it open, half of one bag is empty. I ask him if he opened it and he said “yes, I thought I could have one”, the problem is, I told him he couldn’t have one because it was ab exact amount and he had way more than one. Last night my daughter also asked and he heard me tell her no as well, we even had a conversation about it and I told him she needs to learn that she can’t have everything she wants and that I didn’t have any extra because he put it back. So after I reminded him of the conversations we had yesterday, he goes “I’ll just replace it”. The problem with that is, it’s a lie. He always says he will replace something and then when it’s time to deliver he will make up a reason something doesn’t need to be replaced or he’ll say “while you were out doing xyz, why didn’t you replace it”. I owned a pretty successful event planning business until C19 and I closed due to people canceling and not planning events during that time but also to take care of the kids who were remote learners. Since I have been a work from home customer service agent but I still take events very serious and I like to plan things out, have things organized well in advance. I have been this way for a very long time and it seems like my husband just doesn’t respect that. I don’t care about the candy, one simple order and it’s at my door. I care about the fact that I try to be accommodating to the both of us by buying extra and he still finds a way to get into stuff he shouldn’t be touching and I even use my personal bank account (we have joint and “fun” accounts) to pay for the stuff so there’s no issue. Then to add insult to injury I go into the guest room to change out the plug in and it’s trashed. I deep cleaned it a few days ago and asked him not to mess over it and he’s trashed it. I do all the cleaning in the house, he has never even cleaned our bedroom and he says I don’t clean but it’s not that I don’t clean, him and the kids just don’t respect when I do and they mess over it. We have a guest coming and I will be spending my lunch cleaning because he promised to clean it before he left for work this morning and when I asked him if he’d done it he told me “oh, they know we have kids, a little mess won’t hurt”. When I told him he promised to clean it, he said “well, I didn’t so you can clean it or not but I’m not talking about this anymore”. He makes me feel like such a nag when I ask him to keep his word buts it’s like having an extra kid. His mother always commend me on being able to put up with him and it shouldn’t even be that way. Rant over.