Abortion or no abortion?

Question

I’m currently 6 weeks, I found out I’m pregnant on January 31. 
I’m 22, live at home, had been working for a company with good pay for the past 2 years but got fired right before I found out about the pregnancy. I have a new job now (not sure how the pay is yet since it is commission based, but have heard good things from coworkers) and I am moving into my own place with friends in July. 
My thing is that this came at a time when I was genuinely praying that it wouldn’t. I had been safe, I had a slip up, got drunk, turns out I was ovulating that day and didn’t protect myself.  I’m graduating with my AA this year, I’m finishing up a teaching certification. The father has a 2.5 year old son from a past relationship and does not support me keeping the baby; him and I are unstable, he’s always on and off with me, he’s usually the one to leave. I’m sure he’d come back, but I want him to be stable for our child. I had an abortion in May of 2021 which I didn’t want but felt that I was pressured into and it’s not something I would want to experience again. I isolated myself greatly after taking the pill. I moved out. I fell into a depression. I was always saying how “my daughter would’ve been 6 months today, my daughter would’ve been 1, my daughter would’ve taken her first steps by now…” etc. Not to mention that physically, this abortion brought me great pain, I missed a lot of work, I was bleeding heavily for 2 months *TMI and my cycle became very irregular in the months that followed. I really have been wanting to be a mom my whole life, but now that insecurity that I won’t be good enough and that I’ll give my child an unstable lifestyle is kicking in. I have my first ultrasound coming up, I’m not sure if that’ll affect the way I feel. but I also have a consultation at planned parenthood to discuss my options. Does it sound like abortion is something I want to do or would benefit me? I need an outside opinion. 
P.S. I would not consider adoption because at that point I would not be able to detach from my child.
Update from 05/15/2023: I decided to have my baby. I’m now 5 months along, the dad and I still don’t see eye to eye but we are on speaking terms and my family is endlessly supportive. It’s a boy💙

Answer

Okay. First off nobody can tell you whether or not you should get an abortion. Especially considering the last time you said you felt pressured you had a difficult time with it.
That being said, I became a single mom at 19. It definitely changed my life in a way where I didn’t have opportunities that others had, but I also don’t regret it. I have also had abortions and knew in my gut they were the right decision at the time,
Regardless of how I felt after. 
Here I am 15 years later with a teenage daughter and another on the way finding myself wishing I was younger like I was with my first, wishing it was the same circumstances. Being a young single mom to me is far easier than being an older mother having to deal with a partner. Especially if it’s not the most symbiotic relationship. 
In your heart you will know the right decision for you. There are plenty of people who have kids young and take advantage of the resources around them to still get what they want in life, there are also plenty of people who decide that they want to be more present at the right time and it would t be fair to the child. 
Only you know which decision is right for you.

Answer

Personally I would get an abortion if I was in your shoes but I’m not so it’s very difficult to tell you what to do. What I can do is give you the rationale of why I would if I were in your situation and you may relate or not relate and it might help make the decision. 
At your age you have so many years ahead of you and you can literally travel anywhere, see the world, work crazy hours or not at all, you get to choose what you want to to and you’re not responsible for anything other than yourself. Right now, you’re not in a stable relationship that will support you, you don’t seem financially stable (with savings at least) as you don’t even know your income yet, you’re not even in your own place yet and when you have the baby, you’ll have additional expenses such as childcare and another mouth to feed, heat and be responsible for. Is it the right time? This man has a child already so he’s aware of what’s involved and he has no interest. I couldn’t do that to a child and no matter how awful I would feel having to go through an abortion, it would make me feel less guilt than having a child who wonders where her father is, why she can’t be treated the same as her sibling, why he doesn’t live with you. 
I’d get the abortion and get onto birth control right after because I can’t imagine how much it puts your body through, having to go through it Id never want to have to do it again.

Answer

It sounds like your truly regretted your first abortion and do want this child but are just worried about the possibility of a unstable relationship with their father. Honestly, there is a lot worse. You sound stable yourself and capable of taking care of the child with or without the father. So if you do feel emotionally connected and want this child, keep them. 
I also recommend since this is your already had an abortion and are now considering a second one I would say you really need to get on birth control, even if you aren't in a stable relationship that s probably more reason to be on birth control instead of continuing to put yourself in this traumatic situations. Even if you keep the baby and give birth, get on birth control. If you have sex any OB will tell you if not using your protection than your basically trying for a child.

Answer

Love this post! I hope you had a wonderfully birth ❤️

Answer

so grateful you chose life 🙏🏻

Answer

Just wanted to say Congratulations ❤️ You will be a great mama

Answer

I would get an abortion if I was in your shoes.

Answer

This should be in the abortion group instead of general pregnancy

Answer

That's a really hard decision that you need to make for yourself. I personally would have the baby but I'm a different person than you and that's just based on my own feelings. I could never go through with an abortion because I would feel like I ended a life that I created and I believe that things happen for a reason. But I also know I have people in my life that would have supported me if i was in that situation. 
That being said, I'm having a hard time coping with my 2 month old that I decided to get pregnant with. I have a supportive husband, a good job, and we own a house. But everything has still been so hard for me. I felt sick almost my entire pregnancy, had problems with my blood pressure, and ended up having a c-section. I'm now trying to recover physically and also struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. I don't regret having him but a part of me wishes I had waited a little longer. 
If you had a difficult pregnancy and delivery in addition to your other struggles in life would having a baby be worth it for you?  My answer would be yes but yours might be different than mine.

Answer

I’m so happy to hear the update.

Abortion or no abortion?

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