Abortion

I took three pregnancy tests since Saturday and they have all came out positive. I am 21 years old. I took 2 years off of college to work but I havent worked recently because of an accident. I dont have enough money to keep my baby and I am going back to school in fall to finish my degree for teaching. I wanted to have a stable job and income before i ever got pregnant. But I also had what i thought couldve been a miscarriage a month ago because i was too scared to take a test. I had heavy bleeding and blood clots as well as before hand pregnancy symptoms. Ive been told miscarriage can cause a positive test result months after bc the hormones can still be present in your body. So i am going to my obgyn on monday to get an ultrasound done and see the doctor. I know myself well enough to know if its confirmed that it was a miscarriage im going to be so upset and if im pregnant and im going to be upset too. Ofc im happy i would have my own baby but i dont have the means to give him or her a good life right now. And i dont want to do adoption either i know people want babies and cant have but i could never give away my own baby. I dont want to have a baby with no job, health issues going on and no income. I want to have all that first. I also still live at home with my parents and dont have money right now my savings was spent on college. My mom is very old fashioned and believes in having a job, house and husband first. I have a boyfriend for a year now but it isnt the same for her. She wants me to get a abortion but i told her its my choice and she explained how hard it would be for me and she thinks if i decided to keep it that im not thinking straight and that it would ruin my life. I dont know what to do all I know is I really want to go back to school in the fall. Also if i am pregnant im not sure how many weeks because havent seen dr to know if i had a miscarriage a month ago that could be causing positive. But i didnt know i was pregnant and i was drinking and smoking which can harm the baby. Is it normal to be upset with knowing the right thing is to abort but wishing you had the means to keep it?