Parental control

I’m considering giving full custody to my husband. We’ve been married about two years together for about four. We planned to have our beautiful rainbow baby girl and she really is special to both of us. The thing is I’m not a good mother. I care about her but that’s not enough. I love her but that’s not enough. I feed her and play with her and keep her clean but it’s not enough. I feel like I can only do the bare minimum while struggling with mental health. I take medication. It’s never enough. Unable to afford or find a therapist that takes new patients. I’ve reached out and mentioned to several people how low I’ve gotten and the idea of what if I wasn’t her mother anymore. No one takes me serious. I’ve talked to my husband but still doesn’t realize. He’s a great dad although we struggled in the beginning. I know he’d do his best for her and that may be enough…but I know for sure I’m not. I love her but I don’t love being a parent. I’m not put together like I wanted to be for her. I know you can’t be fully prepared for being a mother but I really tried. At some point after having her I guess I just gave up. Stopped researching how to care for her and have done the bare minimum since. She doesn’t deserve that. I can’t bring myself to get out of bed lately and I know she needs more stimulation. She’s 8mo old and I’m a 23 yr old new mom. I don’t think I can do it anymore. Has anyone gone through this and considered leaving their family so they can thrive without them