29 years old low libido

I have been with my SO for 12 years now. We have a 4 year old together. We have a pretty good realtionship in the sense that we live well together. Hes a great father, he cleans the house, picks up toys. Ive never had to question whether hes faithful or not. We do have a good relationship. Except for the fact that i despise sex and I am now realizing that it is a problem. Because i want to be sexual and have feminine energy. And i just dont. It happens no other way than him straight up asking " you trying to do it" we barely kiss and then i just take my clothes off and have sex. For YEARS its been that way..and he will ask why i.dont initiate ever. And truthfully I dont know..i hate the whole act of taking my clothes off freezing to death and just have sex 40 mins. The longer the sex the more miserable it becomes for me. Takes up.to much.time. WHY DO I THINK LIKE THIS? This is like a natural thing between a man and woman. Arent i supposed to enjoy it? So i tried to initiate it by straight up asking him to " kiss me passionately" and he wouldnt, hoping it would "get me going" to kiss and then transition into sex instead of just hearing him say " trying to do it" after honest to god 8 years of him asking like that. I know.my libido is not completely gone because men do turn me on(i would never cheat ) but i work in a hospital and I had a violent patient so i had to call the police up and this very handsome police officer walks in and he had to man handle this patient and i was like " OH MY GOSH". And then i was like okay my libido isnt completely gone. What CAN I DO? Please help. I have no one to talk to.about this. I grew up kind of a tom boy, i was a skater girl. I.never had feminine energy about me. I use to have very beautiful body and that went to hell. Im working on that again. So now i just feel like a blob who doesnt want to take her clothes off and despises sex.