No support/ adoption on 4th

I'm currently due in another 2 months and I'm leaning towards doing and adoption even though i really don't want to.

My ex/kids father told me he needs to get his life together or any excuse he can come up with.

I just moved into an apartment and i only can afford my rent and bills.

I've called every daycare in my city and nearby cities and they're either full or i just can't afford it and I've been denied for child care vouchers.

I can't afford daycare and my grandma won't watch them she's retired but she just doesn't want to do it which is understandable.

My car just broke down and its completely done for and lately I've just had this strong hate for my kids father he only text maybe once or twice a month to check on the kids, he doesn't bother to ask if they need anything and I'm just mentally tired.

He always complains about his life or how he's working now and all the stuff he wants to buy as if i want to listen to that.

I really don't want to do adoption but i feel like it's my only choice it's to much going on and i have No support or help.

My family blames me for being a single mother and constantly needing help and it's like i understand but instead of constantly blaming me for everything and be supportive.

I thought i was marrying this person and even said yes when he proposed to me but now he's a totally different person who just doesn't care even laughed when i was in the store looking at wedding dress with our kids and said I'm not marrying you i don't even know why you're looking at that and it came out of no where and i was confused but didn't say anything i left the store and left it at that.

I don't know what to do anymore, i have no one to talk to i know if i tell my family I'm pregnant they'll stop talking to me so as of right I'm just lost.