MIL VENTING :X

So my MIL is visiting for 2 months, and it’s to visit our baby (20months). She was barely around when I was pregnant - I came to her city/home where she’s been living for the last 2 years, and then she left to go back to her home abroad, whilst my husband and I were with the FIL in the beginning and she came during month 7&8, and by 8th 9th month, husband and I flew back to London once WHO restrictions eased.

She’s a nice MIL in that she’s not expecting me to do things eg to clean, cook, clean up after myself etc. I’m fact, she often cleans up after me, as if I don’t, the place just remains a bit disorganised because I’m playing, teaching, feeding the baby.

Anyway, regardless, my husband thinks she’s the purest hearted woman in the world, but that’s not been my experience.

When I was pregnant, I would stroke my belly. She told me not to as it would make the baby not want to come out. I ended up having an emergency c-section, and when she came in month 2 of my baby’s birth, she was like “see told you not to stroke your belly”

Then whilst being abroad she instructed us not to kiss our baby, as it would swell up her face or something so like for 6 months I wasn’t allowed to kiss her.

Whenever she visits, she always makes comments. About how she likes to get dressed up and wear rings, do her hair properly, wear nice clothes etc when going out, always a dig at Me because i, since marrying, haven’t done that anymore simply because I don’t have time and my husband actively says he likes me better natural ie with my curly hair and I’m/threaded eyebrows (I’d have to thread weekly in the past because they’re so thick). I would WANT to do my eyebrows but I can’t. I would want to blow dry my hair (at home like I used to) but my husband wants to spend time with me rather than me do this and really loves my natural hair.

Whenever I’m doing something with my baby, she’s always telling me to do the opposite. Eg, we bought a little house for my baby together with the grandparents and immediately she told me not to

Get in the house with her once its delivered otherwise baby will always want me to Play with her. I found this ludicrous because my baby was 15months old at the time, and not fully able walk unassisted so it was imperative for me to be around and make

Sure she was safe. Well day the house arrives and the men assemble it, she falls my baby and GETS IN WITH HER BEFORE MY BABY GOES IN IE DOES THE VERY THING SHE INSTRUCTED ME NOT TO DO.

Then whenever I’m feeding her pasta and my baby doesn’t eat at that time, she’ll be like “oh baby doesn’t like pasta” and tried giving her something else. And when baby fiiiinally eats, she comes and disturbs her by calling her name, making funny faces, making noise etc.

She’s always making remarks like “oh when baby grows up, she’s going to be like BYE MUMMY I WANT TO BE WIHH /SLEEP WIth/play with GRANDMA AND GRANDPA” to which I always say “whatever makes and gives her happiness, that’s what she’ll do”

The latest annoyance is her always telling me to put layers on my baby, who is actually quite a hot baby. She has a bit of eczema which we’ve observed only happens and she begins itching and getting dry when she’s hot/it is hot. So I often allow her to walk barefoot and keep her light. But of course if the day is a bit cold, I’ll make sure there are slippers or anti-slip socksies on her. A couple of days ago, baby woke up from her name calling out for daddy who was next door. He came, held her and took her with him next door but put her down so she was standing. So baby was a bit groggy because she napped when it was daylight but awoke when it was sunset/dark, she woke up without anyone next to her, and so she was a bit moody, and fussing. Grandma walks in and begins lecturing us saying she should wear slippers etc and that she (MIL) is feeling cold so that’s why (mil comes from a hot country) Both husband and I began saying “like calm down! Let us first calm our baby and cuddle her etc THEN attend to shoes etc because she’s a warm atm and shoes aren’t a priority” and both were like just because MIL is cold doesn’t mean it’s cold and that baby is cold.

Next annoyance, we’ve told both grandparents, phones and iPad are a NO to give to our baby. They were looking forward to doing this because when we visited them in March, baby was non stop on their bed watching the iPad, playing games on the iPad, and it was the only time my baby let MIL near her otherwise baby was crying and hysterical when she was nearby.

I spent 2 months when we got back UNDOING that damage. Her sleep was disturbed. She was clearly tired, yawning away, but not able to sleep. Sucking on me for ages but then not sleeping like she would usually do, climbing the bed rail, taking SO much time to sleep and then sleeping inconsistently etc. I told my husband NEXT TIME THEY VISIT, pleeeeease don’t let the iPad happen. He agreed and explained to

Them to which they said fine and have been hiding it whenever baby comes to them.

Now, my MIL I can tell is CLEARLY jealous of my bond with my baby, and desperately wants it or wants more. She’ll

Make comments like “oh baby comes to you because of these” and will pat my breasts. Then make remarks about stopping breast feeding by 15months or whenever she’s next around etc. she always makes comments when we’re facing timing about how when the she going to be around SHE will give baby a bath. When we visited in March, baby refused her so thankfully that never happened (though she regularly would come inside and disturb us so baby would cry and not be happy when I was bathing - I ended up bathing with baby to stop her from entering). Then yesterday she was like “ baby loves mamma because mamma lets her watch tv” now we watch a little bit of MISS RACHEL, miss moni etc a few times a day, or some music videos eg elemental’s latest soundtrack, and when I’m cooking food for baby I have her on the high chair and then iPad on feom a distance for her, and when we go out to eat, iPhone on for her from a distance otherwise it’s just not possible to be out with her. We came back last night from dinner and I let baby be upstairs with her grandparents, whilst I made some herbal tea and washed baby’s milk bottles etc. it sounded very quiet so I listened whilst at the bottom of the stairs and it sounded like some tv. I go upstairs and MIL IS PLAYING AND LETTING BABY PLSY ON THE IPAD :X I tried taking her away and she was like “please 5 mins. Don’t force her to go.” As baby started crying when I tried taking her away. And of course, baby didn’t want to stop being on the iPad and bloody didn’t go to sleep on time and had 8hrs sleep instead of her usual 10-12hrs. Now she’s also refusing to nap, which starts this whole drama again where she will be tired but not sleeping and not eating properly either :X 27more days of MIL

ANS SHE KEEPS REARRANGING MY SPICE DRAWER, when I have a system so I dont waste time and can quickly cook for my baby and makes remarks about how she’s cleaned up x or y for me, when it was already organised and clean