Feeling Awful

It’s been 2 weeks and I’m trying to hard to feel attached to my baby but I can’t. I feel like such a bad mom. She cries so much and I feel like it’s because she doesn’t sense the attachment. I try to love on her as much as I can but I’m so detached, I was detached the whole pregnancy and didn’t even want to admit I was pregnant to the point I stopped receiving prenatal care after the anatomy scan (horrible I know💔). I absolutely do love her.. I love them both with every breath in my body. I’m just so depressed and out of touch with reality, I have another daughter that’s about to be 1 in a couple days and I’m just stressed trying to be the best mom I can but I am drained, I am exhausted. I have no emotion except a blank stare, he notices and just assumes I have an attitude but I am just tired. I contacted my job to come back to work already and my manager said she needs to make sure I’m cleared but I cant wait .. I’m so miserable sitting at home drowning in my thoughts. Has anybody else felt this way? Could this be PPD? Tell me it gets better. Yes I am in therapy, this is something we haven’t discussed because I’m embarrassed.