Who do you think gets more respect/attention?

Question

When I was growing up I noticed when someone is a mother or they have mother like qualities they get more respect then single women. When I had foster care siblings and I was out in public with them some people would pay more attention to me and start asking me questions regarding if I was a mother rather than when I’m not holding a child/baby. Simple things such as when I started to gain weight, talk about my younger siblings, or talk about my viewpoints on my upbringing people showed more interest in me. I’ve even had a few guys claim to me they want to get me pregnant. Makes me uncomfortable since a few mothers I know of personally didn’t take care of their child then want to post everything about them and tell everyone despite not feeding, watching after, or giving their child a bed even. Most of my family got pregnant around 22-33. Im about that age now and it worries me. Of course motherhood can be hard but notice how nobody says much about any other family figure? Overall question is do you think mothers get more respect or attention In society than single women?

Answer

I think this is kind of a loaded question. Young single women are often sexualized for being young and single and older single women are often ostracized for not settling down or for having too much of a dating history. Married mothers are seen as more “pure” but have little identity outside of wife and mother, and single mothers are seen as trashy. Young moms are irresponsible and older mothers waited too long which makes them irresponsible as well. Single women who save themselves for marriage are prudes and single women who want to date around are whores. I think overall, just about every category of women are judged and we can’t really win. You should read into the madonna/whore complex.

Answer

I think mothers do get more attention, I mean looking at social media there are so many “influencer” moms. It’s relatable, especially to other moms. But honestly I think moms are ridiculed so much, it’s not always good attention. Moms are ridiculed for their every move so I wouldn’t say they get more respect

Answer

I was a single mom for years and I felt like everyone would be watching me and seeing whether I would make something of myself. I worked 2 jobs, took care of my daughter, had her in daycare and then Pre-K/T-K, went to school online at a CC (Got my Associate Degree in Business Administration) then transferred to a private university (Received my Bachelors Degree in Business Administration: HR and Management) as well as a Minor in Communication, was president in a sorority, and took care of my grandmother when I was home. Aside from this went to Family Law Court in order to get Sole physical custody of my daughter when my toxic ex was threatening to take her from me when he really didn’t want her for him to raise her, but for his family. He was calling me constantly and harassing me, sending me hateful messages, threats, and would always beg me to take him back. I lived an hour away and it didn’t feel far enough from him and his narcissistic ways when I had been doing everything alone. It was so stressful. People look at you when you go out and have fun with your girlfriends for a night out, but don’t realize that just because you’re a mom it doesn’t mean you give up the right to be a normal human being. It’s not until you are succeeding that single moms get all this praise.

Answer

That's a loaded question with a lot that goes into it. Part of where you're seeing things from is a perspective where a lot of moms aren't actually caring for their kids like the should based off of your experiences. It's all about experiences and perspective. While I do know some women who aren't good mothers at all the majority of the mothers I know are phenomenal women and even better mothers. The people in my area (and I mean my region) take notice of not just a great mom, but any family member who is really good for the kids. My husband gets complimented and praised all the time for being such an amazing husband. As do my kids' grandparents and even my BIL and SIL for how good we are as a family unit and for the kids. Where I'm at it's not just mom's that are gatting respect and praise, but it's also family members who are notably good for the kids. 
My husband and I have been together since we were 15 and did our first round of fertility right after marriage and had our oldest at 22. We planned to be young parents and had worked gard towards it. In our area it's pretty common to have kids 18-26. While there are still a lot of people who wait until their 30s it's more common to have children under 30 here. It's a difference in values, culture, economics, and family structure. 
I will say in my area in general mothers are definately treated with more respect. However that also goes for fathers and the elderly. It's a culture thing. Parents especially good parents are seen as more mature, responsible, down to Earth, sacrificing, and (no matter if people like it or not) are also seen as more valuable as members of society than those without children. There's a social ranking system that has been ingrained into the people where I'm from where elders are at the top of the respect meter, followed by people of power (law enforcement, first responders, government, teachers, business owners, ect) and parents, this is then followed by childless adults, then teens, then children. 
I'm not saying that it's right to assign people value based on if they are a parent or not, but it's how things are here and I've personally never met anyone who thoyght differently. Even my best friend, who doesn't have children yet, sees parents as more valuable to society than those who aren't. She places more value on myself and my husband than her and her husband. When I walk into a room I usually command more respect and attention than say my best friend. People are more likely to give up their seat for me, open doors for me, randomly buy my meal, ect. Those things are even MORE pronounced when the kids and I in public with my husband in uniform. Where I'm from women who aren't good mothers are seen as completely worthless. For example my ex-sister is seen as less than and not a valuable member of society because she's a crappy mom. She's not abusive by any means, but she's also not a good mom at all. She's seen as even less valuable in socitey than a childless woman because she isn't raising her children right and is seen as a hindrance to society. I'm not saying that all of this is the way it's supposed to be, but it's the way things are here.

Who do you think gets more respect/attention?

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