Venting at 9:30 am watch out

How do I become an unbitter bitch? I hold a lot of resentment and anger towards my partner. He can communicate and show respect towards everyone else besides me. Yes I might be a bitch and compare everything he does for everyone else but can’t do this shit for his own family. I’m furious. I’m not jealous, I wouldn’t call it that. The guy can’t communicate with me. But he can text group texts from the job when he’s off the clock and everything. Like these people created a group chat early as hell this morning. If I texted him he would complain and say how it’s too early. 6 am to be exact. It’s now almost 930 am. Get real. When his phone goes off it wakes me and my child up. He has no regard to shut it off. None. I’m about to move my bed into my son’s room but then that’s right by the door every time he closes it will wake us.

At this point I feel like he’s being this way to me because it’s something I want that he knows he’s capable of doing because I see him doing the communication with everyone else. I’m so sick of him treating me this way. If he would stop and treat me right maybe I wouldn’t be a fucking bitch? But he doesn’t want to be the bigger person and well shit neither will I. I’m not going to do that to a person who can build a crib for someone else but can’t do it for his own son. I’m just really disgusted and bothered by all this. Just shows me he can communicate but chooses not too. Yeah ok. He can do a lot for a people he isn’t in a relationship with. Also I hate the fact he’s comfortable with me. Being comfortable with a person you get treated like shit. Trust me my toddler looses his shit on me that’s because he’s comfortable with me. I just can’t maintain all the new resentment that comes up randomly everyday I’m triggered by this deadbeat father and partner but he’s real good to his boss and his family. You tell me. He doing this shit on purpose or y’all think he’s really got amnesia and forgets the shit?

Yes I have expressed all this to him. Multiple times actually. In different tones, over text, in person. No matter what method I use with the guy it seems to go in one ear and right out the other. That’s why I said about amnesia. I’m not sure actually if he’s doing it on purpose or what. All I know is he can be a better partner for someone he isn’t actually in a relationship with. I’ve tried my best with the guy but I shouldn’t have to teach him everything he’s not my kid and not a toddler.

H- yeah I stick around because I am a stay at home mom and I can’t afford prices of my own place with my child. I did say this was me venting. Doesn’t mean I need to run off. I could’ve thought of that myself I do have common sense. Why am I here? I ask myself this question every day, even when I know the answer to the question, I’m broke. I have no childcare. I’ve already checked into the state helping with daycare costs but how can I get childcare if yeah you know what I’m not running off. Dang.