Hoping for some advice on this Christmas celebration situation

This is sort of a long saga but basically last year I posted about my Christmas eve issue where we were invited to my parents house for dinner and the food was delayed by many hours and I ended up leaving without eating almost all day bc I was told we’d eat a meal in the early afternoon and we never did, with my 4 month old baby and hungry husband, and I was breastfeeding at the time and just felt completely bamboozled and I’m trying to avoid having this happen again. The post is in my history but I also screenshotted below for background.

My plan for this year is to just go along with whatever plan my extended family makes, bring my own meal and eat at the time I need to with my son, and leave when I need to (6:30pm). My mom told me it would just be a few people but now it’s about 25 people so that’s already a change. Everyone is always sick so I’m already nervous about that, but it also means everything like cooking and eating and exchanging gifts will take a lot longer.

This is what she sent my sister and me this morning:

“Good morning! I’m looking over the schedule for Xmas and made some revision. Hoping this helps you plan for the day and evening. Hoping both babies can stay and start sleep time at grandma’s (so her house) - all are welcome to stay of course! - but I understand you need to do what works best for each family.

Let me know what you think! The eve will go by so fast!

2pm - family arrival/snacks

2:30- quick baby craft

3:00- family gift exchange and babies open gifts

4:00- clean up

4:30- aunts/uncles/friends arrive

4:45 Xmas toast- (make a special drink)

5:00 - first course

5:45 - secret Santa exchange

6:45- if anyone needs to leave this might be a good time? Hoping you can stay🥰

7pm - dinner buffet

7:45 - possible bedtime for babies who stay

8:30- desserts/group game

And this was last years situation-