Where do you draw the line?

I’m pretty sure my husband is emotional and verbally abusive to me, I’m not sure if pushing someone down or pinning them up against the counter or the wall counts as physical. He’s never hit me so he said it doesn’t count. My question is, where do you draw the line? I’ve been begging him for years to please even try and change. To please just stop with the constant criticism and putting me down. He takes out everything on me, he blames me for everything. He does this thing, often enough, where; he’ll complain for a long long time about being hungry so I’ll finally get up to go cook for him since he won’t even cook for himself. As soon as I get I the kitchen to start he’ll start yelling at me to not even bother. If I continue to cook he says I have no respect for him or he might even come in there and physically make me stop. Also if I do stop and leave the kitchen he’s mad that he still doesn’t have food and I’m not doing my job.

Anyway, that’s just an example of how my life goes. I guess I’m wondering what opinions are, I finally am kind of getting to the point where I don’t really care about this relationship anymore. I have a really hard time feeling anything towards him lately, I’m just so exhausted with it all. So now he finally is saying he wants to fix things and save our marriage, but I’m having a hard time believing it and I guess I’m not being super welcoming of it. I do want it saved and fixed but I feel like he’s just saying that so I stop “bitching” and just let everything go. How do you know if your partner really means it and wants to change?

EDIT:

We have two kids who absolutely adore him, the thought of taking them away from their dad breaks my heart. I feel guilty for even having these thoughts at all, he blames me for every time he’s in a bad mood (which is a lot) if I’m quieter than usual or my mood is off at all he says I’m ruining his day and now it’s my fault he’s in a bad mood. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to put a smile on and pretend everything is ok. I really do love him though and at this point after hearing it for so many years I do believe that I ruined his life. I absolutely do believe that he was doing just fine before he met me, that he was better off without me. That he made a mistake marrying me, that the way he is now is may fault. I believe I ruined his life and made him miserable and I wish so badly I could take it back, I feel so guilty for doing it but I had no idea I did or I was