How to speak up against a narcissist?

My mother is a narcissist. She believes she is perfect and everyone around her is the problem. She makes it clear to strangers that her life is perfect even when it’s not. That her kids are perfect, even when they’re not. But if you sit down long enough with her, she’ll spill all her kid’s secrets while also sprinkling her own version of said secrets. Everything she gave her kids? She’ll throw it in their face when they do something she doesn’t like. And when one child pisses her off, she’s suddenly very close to other one and telling her side and ONLY her side of things to assure that they stay on her side. OR, if she fights with her son, she’ll turn around and blame the daughter for it. She’s never once apologized to her kids about anything she’s done to cause them irreparable emotional trauma. She was never physical tho, so should she even apologize? She doesn’t believe so. They can’t call her out for anything either, she’ll give them the cold shoulder and act like a victim who deserves an apology.

I’m my mother’s servant, maid, punching bag, and many other things. I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I was raised by my birth mother. They’re blood related so maybe they’re both narcissists and I’d be in the same situation.

My mother is a narcissist and my father is a people pleaser. So you can only imagine what kind of child they raised. I’m afraid to speak up and have them throw everything they’ve ever given me in my face and take what I have now from under me. I’m afraid to speak up because I don’t want to make my mother upset and receive the silent treatment as I have since I was a child. I’m afraid to speak up because I cannot fathom losing my relationship with my father but I know he’d choose her over me any day. I’m afraid to speak up when I shouldn’t be. And in not speaking up, I’m showing my child not to speak up. I’m repeating the same cycle when I should be breaking it. But being raised by a narcissistic mother has made me silent as well. I was punished as a child for speaking up so now my body freezes when I feel like I need to and I can’t seem to find the voice to do so. I feel my brain go blank and anxiety wash over me. So I stay silent, and take whatever she throws at me as my daughter stands behind me watching her mother disappear into a ball of nothing.

How did you find the voice to stand up to your narcissistic parent?