Should I give my baby up?

Question

I’m in a polyamorous relationship and even though I was on birth control, I got pregnant by my boyfriend, not my husband. My husband, his mom, my boyfriend, his family, and my mom and sister are all happy about the baby. Most people think I’m stupid for having this baby though and that he will have a rough life.

Should I give him up for adoption so that he can have a normal life?

Answer

I mean you just listed the main people in your life as being happy and supportive. Who else's opinion is so important that it would make you question your ability to raise a child and provide stability? How do YOU feel about it?

Answer

You really need to stop caring about what others think. Get off social media.

Answer

I have to be honest, I grew up with poly parents and truely hated it. I also knew a few others growing up who had poly parents and they also hated it. Almost all of them are completely no contact with their parents. I still have a lot of resentment towards my parents for how I grew up and had to set the boundry with them that if they want a relationship with my children then none of their partners can ever meet my children nor can there ever be any mention of their partners. Can a poly family be perfectly happy and the children grow up happy? Yes. Especially since you have a support system that seems to be quite happy and supportive. However in my personal experience I have not seen that nor have I met anyone else who was happy with having poly parents growing up.

Answer

How about you and your husband discuss it (as it will impact your marriage) and you forget everyone else options and what they want you to do
If your and your husband don’t want kids that’s one thing but if your bf did Obviously you need to talk to your BF 
Doesn’t matter what everyone else want you need to make the final call

Answer

Adoption doesn’t mean “normal” life. 
If you’re in a polyamorous relationship then these discussions should be with your partners. This isn’t about anyone else.

Answer

It sounds like your partners are supportive, which is what’s most important. Do most people in your community know that you are polyamorous? I’m curious if your reservations are related to having that become more well known. Also, had you and your husband talked previously about how you would handle pregnancy by another partner? It might help to discuss together your next steps. I understand that this is unexpected and not what you were planning for, but I wouldn’t suggest giving up a baby so that it can have a “normal” life based off the judgment of others.

Answer

The baby’s life won’t be “normal” because they are adopted. It’s different, and their home life may be just as “different” as yours. Family doesn’t have to look heteronormative. 
As an adoptee, I didn’t feel normal. It wasn’t “normal” that I was different and adopted. And I still wanted to be a part of my biological families’ lives, I wanted to know them. 
If you want to keep your child, keep your child. Your family can look however you want it to look.

Answer

No, my neighbors are Poly. There’s 1 woman and 3 men. They have 2 kids and they’re just like any normal kids. We’ve had a few play dates with them and they’re just like any other multi-adult household. Their kids are well rounded, polite, seem happy and we wouldn’t know any the wiser. don’t worry about what people think. Families come in all shapes and sizes and as long as you’re not subjecting your kids to your sex life, then do what you want.

Answer

The people who love you, support you. What more do you need? Nobody else’s opinion should matter. It’s not their life. You don’t have to live by the rules society has made for you. Are you happy? Do you want the baby? That’s all that matters. Everyone else in the situation seem to have your back. Don’t live for other people, especially people who don’t matter. & even if people who do matter have a problem with it, it’s not their life. It’s YOURS. Live for yourself. Follow what YOU want.

Answer

Noooo. Never do that, you'll regret it and your child is going to grow up having so many problems!! Just keep your baby it's best for them. Besides take this as a sign that it was supposed to happen.

Should I give my baby up?

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