It’s hard to be happy

I did a pregnancy on Thursday basically 4 days before my due period which is today. I use easy at home brand and it was faint so i bought to frpt and clear blue digital 6 day early text both bright positive and a digital pregnant. Since Thursday I take pregnancy test to see the line progress however its not get darker for the east at home strips. I used for years and it usually gets darker. I could just be freaking myself out because I have miscarriages back go back. Done IVF last year which ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks, prior to that it was 13 week lost. I haven’t told anyone besides two close friends because I cant deal with the question if something does happened. This is a miracle it happened naturally and I want to enjoy it and be hopeful and not think negative but it really is hard. I do feel this calm over me with a bit of nervous of what can happen. It’s also hard not to share but I want to keep this all to myself as long as I can.