I’m due to give birth to my 2nd baby in a month. My in laws will be staying at our house to babysit my 2 year old while my husband and I are at the hospital. The hospital is close to our house- 30 minute walk or 5-10 minute drive. As long as the baby and I are doing ok, my husband can go home to be with our son in the mornings or evenings. My first labor was 50 hours though and I needed assistance after, so I’m not sure how long he’ll be truly stuck at the hospital with me this time.

My in laws are fine, but I have a lot of anxiety about these 2 things- him running into the street, and then feeding him. For the first- he recently started running from us when we say it’s time to go inside, when he sees a bunny, etc., and if we’re in the front yard or on a walk he’ll go for the street. We have our way of discipline but obviously at 2 years old it’s not one and done, he’s still learning. Is it extreme to tell my in laws that if they’re going for a walk they must hold his hand the whole time, or he has to be strapped into his stroller? That’s what I do with him, but when my husband walks with him they just walk next to each other and it stresses me out so much that he doesn’t hold his hand. It’s not a super busy street but sometimes cars go flying down the road.

The 2nd thing is the food. They are basically just out of touch with food safety and choking. No matter how many times we tell my MIL not to smack his back if he’s coughing (can lodge the food deeper in his throat) she still does it. She also fed him grape tomatoes during the rare time she babysat him during a meal time and sent us a video. We told her he cannot be fed small round foods like grapes or small tomatoes without them being cut. Her response was defensive and she said ‘but he ate them and was fine’ which isn’t exactly reassuring. I also want to tell them that he can only eat if he’s in his high chair, because they tend to let him snack on stuff while running around outside.

Is it extreme to tell them that for breakfast he can only be fed oatmeal with milk/honey, for lunch only chicken vegetable soup (I will meal prep it and everything is cut up tiny and is soft), and dinner can only be soft fish with rice and steamed veggies? I would also leave his snacks. It will hopefully only be for 1-2 days, and this is usually what I feed him anyway. I just think it’s impossible to tell them what he can’t eat, because we thought we did that but they still gave him the cherry tomatoes. My FIL also loads up the fork and tries to get my son to take such huge bites that it all gets clogged in his mouth.