Today an older male coworker (between 50-60 years old) made an uncomfortable comment today at work. As I was headed to lunch, he said “I have a bone to pick with you, but we’ll talk later.” First of all, I hate it when people delay serious discussions. I just want to get it over with. So I say “Well, can you tell me now?” So he responds “I can’t stop thinking about that black dress you wore the other week. It really left an impression on me.” And the way he said it all made the color drain from my face. He went on for a bit. And I felt so uncomfortable. I jokingly replied “Oh, wow. Well, was it inappropriate for work?” It wasn’t. It went down to my knees and showed no cleavage. It was even a loose dress covered by a jean jacket.

Later on, he came up to me and said “hey, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. You know how us men can be.” And I played it off all friendly and polite. Like “oh no, I was just taken aback is all.”

I really wish I could fully convey how strange it all felt in what I described here, but I can’t. I’m upset because this guy is well liked at work, but he seems to make me uneasy and high-alert whenever I do see him. It’s like he meets me with his gaze whenever I’m in the general vicinity. And not in a great way. I’m in my 20s, and the whole dynamic makes me uncomfortable.

The worst part is I know if I reported anything, it’d just make my work environment worse. It’d circulate all around work that I reported him, and I’d feel worse. Or invalidated. I can be sensitive, but I know that this isn’t a normal compliment. The undertone felt sexual. And the kicker? He’s married. Just here to vent. 🥲