EDIT: I updated it to clarify that I'm participating in the presentation and that my story is being shared, but it's anonymous. I'm not speaking. END EDIT!

EDIT 2: The hospital asked for anonymous stories about bullying we've experienced and asked that identifying information be left out. ***

My hospital, like many, has a problem with nurses bullying and being downright verbally abusive towards new grads and new staff.

I have a part in the presentation where I share my story ****(EDIT: It's anonymous and only my story is being shared. I'm not speaking!)***. I'm pretty sure the nurse involved will be there. She works on a different floor and is well known for being one of those nurses.

Does this sound passive aggressive?

"some nurses take the phrase "nurses eat their young" to heart and put it into practice everyday. When I was a new grad, I was in a situation where I needed help doing a nasopharyngeal swab. I'd never done one before (this was pre-COVID) and even after looking at the policy and several instruction sheets, I wasn't 100% comfortable doing the procedure alone. I asked the nurse orienting me for help.

Instead of helping me, she chose to ask me why I didn't know how to do the swab. I explained I knew how but I'd never done one before and I needed help and coaching. She asked me if I was even a real nurse and how I got hired if I couldn't even do this one simple thing. She told me that she wasn't there to babysit and hold my hand and that I should already know how to do this. She said it was ridiculous that I was even asking for help.

Any time I tried to ask her for help, my intelligence and nursing abilities were called into question. My time with her was short, but she did teach me a very valuable lesson. She taught me exactly how NOT to act when someone asks you for help.

Asking for help is not a crime. In fact, nurses should never be doing things they aren't comfortable with because they're too afraid to ask for help. Asking for help and receiving it when we are unsure keeps us and our patients safe.

No one asking for help should ever feel the way I felt. I was vulnerable, and instead of taking the opportunity to teach and mentor me, this nurse used it as an opportunity to hurt me. Luckily, I had a very supportive nurse overhear and step in. She assisted me and walked me through everything, and she became my new mentor.

When nurses are afraid to ask for help, we put ourselves and our patients in unsafe situations. If you don't know how to do something, but you don't ask for help because you're afraid of what will happen to you, your focus switches from positive patient outcomes to self-preservation. We should always be looking out for our patients and should never be putting their safety on the line because we're worried about asking for help."

G: I don't know if she was disciplined for it. HR doesn't give that information out and the nurse never told me about it. I might run it by HR though. The one person is great to chat with and she'd be able to tell me if I need to change things.