Need to vent… abortion or not

I am not looking for someone to tell me what to do but I just feel like I need to vent and just get opinions because I feel like I am going crazy. I have been with my current boyfriend and father of my 7 year old daughter for 14 years. It has been up and down since 2020

My boyfriend has anger issues and has always had a temper

His temper even before my daughter would consist of throwing things when mad or hitting walls doors… I told him while I was pregnant that I would not have my daughter scared of her and he went to therapy one time … so obviously it didn’t help all that much

Fast forward

In 2021 it got bad and he and I physically got into it (I have never been physical with anyone but I was defending myself as he was trying to take my phone from me and was trying to break my phone)

This is where we decided it was not healthy and just toxic

We still lived together

He went to therapy for a year

And he has not had any temper issues since and has really worked on himself

I am pregnant now (11 weeks) and I just feel like I can’t get enough sat things like I thought I could or was. I have been nothing but anxious and feeling like this is a bad idea since getting pregnant because I apparently still have trauma from the past because I am even having nightmares he will hurt me.

I don’t know if it’s the hormones or if this is truly a bad idea.

I talked to him about it and he was “there for me” during the conversation but since then just says he has done nothing to warrant this at this point

He has done his part to show he is sorry and worked on himself and because I am having bad dreams I need to figure out how to get past it..

I just feel like that is not true. He has caused trauma and I am the one still dealing with it

If you’re still reading thank you…

I just seem lost

I feel like I am 50/50 and would still consider getting an abortion

I don’t know what to do