Getting out of dv and away from narcissist

Been with husband 10 years almost 11 I was 18 he was 47. Not going into details but I told him I'm done, he believes me one minute and gets mad waits a day and asks when I'm coming back to the bed been on the couch for a week. I say I'm not I'm done. We are waiting on this money and I told him I would split it with him and we go our separate ways. I guess he doesn't really believe that I'm going to leave, bc Everytime I say it he gets mad. He said I have to kick him out he isn't leaving bc he wants our daughter to hate me for breaking up the family she is 8. He hasn't touched me in maybe almost a year. He's punched me in the face, pushed me into the wall, and choked me with his arm one time until I couldn't breath. So I think he is going to hurt me the day I leave I don't think so but I'm still scared. He's mentally abusive also. Tells me I'm not going to find another guy like him and guys just want me for my body. Blah blah. Anyway I'm not sure what to do. My daughter doesn't want us to separate but I mentally can't take it anymore to the point I'm starting to get suicidal. I'm scared. I know people have it way worse then me. Bc my husband is a good guy. Always provides and anytime I need anything he gets it for me, helps with everything around the house, and I don't know how do I know that I'm not the one tripping, and causing his reactions. I'm lost. I don't know if I really am in a toxic relationship or if I'm the toxic one. I have BPD, anxiety and depression and my husband says it's my BPD that makes me out out. What if he is right. I'm sorry I just need advice.