How to leave?

Any advice would be great. I’ve been married almost 5 years. I have a 9 year old step son, and together my husband and I have a 3 year old daughter and a 4 month old son. Our 9 year old was at school at this time.

Two days ago we were at Target. We needed to return diapers that are too small. Also our daughter’s bday is the end of this month. As we were walking in he says “I need to go to the T-O-Y section and I don’t want her to know”. As we got right into the lobby of the store we realized we forget the box of diapers in the trunk. He turns around to get them. I put the baby’s car seat in the cart and load up our daughter. I figured since he wanted to go to the toy section and spelled it, I went to the diapers to get the right size. About 10 minutes later, me and the kids are headed to the checkout and I take my phone out to see where my husband is. I see two missed calls and a text. The text said “dude stop moving from where you are please!!!!!!!” Many many exclamation points. I call him and he’s clearly annoyed but says where he is. So I turn around to meet him. Once we are together, we are in a 4 way intersection of the aisles and people are walking by. He starts lecturing me about how I “always” walk off, he can never find me and how EMBARRASSED he was walking into the store expecting to see us and we weren’t there. He was so angry. I just nodded, accepted his annoyance with me because people were looking at us. Anyway, we checked out and got into the car. Now in the car, he brings it up again. And I’m not saying anything. He asked me “how should I approach my feelings about this with you?” I started to cry out of frustration because this was the first day I left the house in about a week. I was so excited that the kids aren’t sick anymore and I can freely go out. So I said “in private where strangers can’t see or hear it because that was the REAL embarrassment for me”. I then told him how as a 36 year old man, standing in the lobby of a target isn’t something to be embarrassed over, how no one was watching him and him being this mad is uncalled for”. Then I had to hear how it’s bc I’m a woman that I can’t accept I did something wrong. I can’t apologize bc I’m an emotional female. Then told me to go take a nap, today he said in front of our 9 year old how I get high. Which my step son never knew about and I only have a thc vape pen to get me to sleep at night. I have bad reactions to prescription sleep medication so this helps me.

Now I’m sitting here at home with the two youngest. I haven’t spoken to him in days and today he was giving me such an attitude. I’m heart is heavy and sick of all this. My kids don’t deserve parents who scream at each other. Our 9 year old looked very upset after his dad went off on me in the kitchen today. Idk what to do. I’m a stay at home mom, our 4 month old is still recovering from open heart surgery he had when he was 17 days old. There’s a lot going on. I tried to call my sister because she is the only family I have outside of the one I created. But she didn’t answer. I want to cry but I’m holding it in for my kids.

He doesn’t even like me. Why would he marry me and have kids with me.

Idk. Does anyone know of a work from home job I can do? My son is recovering and I’m his full time care so I can’t be gone from the house. Thanks ♥️