Insecurity

Im having an extremly hard time feeling safe in my relationship at the moment. Im having consistent dreams that started 1st of March of him looking at other women and just things on his phone as ive had a rough past and already found things on his phone before. We have a few issues that id say are pretty small but actually impact me a lot on a day to day basis and Ive talked with him about what i need from him but its like he doesnt understand what i mean and i cant explain it any more specific than i have. Im convinced the only times hes loving me up is out of guilt and i dont know what to do. Talking is hard for me as i get overwhelmed and end up submissive and vulnerable so i think i just need some advice