Help, opinions please

I feel like I should be talking about personal conversations between my boyfriend and I but id like to have feedback. I had an abortion 5 month ago . My boyfriend was right next to me and witnessed the whole procedure. I felt after everything it of course took a while for us to get back to our norm. We went through a very rough patch. I feel like intimacy is different though. I feel like the romance was kinda washed away. When I tried to talk about it I’d get shut down. I started to think it was me, though he continued to tell me it’s not me. My boyfriend opened up to me the other night and said that he doesn’t feel like he deserves it and that he is scared to ever put me in that position again. He also said that it hurt watching me go through the painful process of the abortion and the whole thing turned him off. The reason why we decided to abort is because we are currently in the process of making better changes in life. He’s working on paying off his debt, school, etc. I’m about to start my nursing program and working to save. He would go down on me sometimes but he honestly won’t let me return. I feel confused because he literally would not want to be touched (it was not like this before)

I’m sad he’s feeling that way and I don’t know how to approach. I feel like he’s so hard on himself … A LOT. Should counseling help? Idk