I can’t think straight- Too emotional. Help me make sense of this situation.

It’s a long post, I’m sorry!

Background: I’m 26, he’s 30. Together for 5 years, recently engaged.

I had health issues with my period, was bleeding for 3-4 months, did not have a lot of sex (maybe twice) but did other sexual stuff together. Kept intimacy, all was great. Health issues subsided, slowly having more sex. He has high libido, I’ve told him it’s physically uncomfortable to have sex every day because of the multiple month break, I need to get used to it again. He’s not pushy if I say no, he sometimes says he’s disappointed, he has a sex toy he uses sometimes that I have no problem with.

The issue: We had sex multiple times this week, including Friday night before bed, great sex.

Yesterday (Saturday), I woke up to kisses and cuddles that he clearly wanted to lead to sex (grinding up on me, grabbing me, etc). I enjoyed the touches and told him I did not want to have sex because we did it last night and I need to “recharge”. We play around a little more and move on.

Throughout the day, he’s affectionate kissing me and hugging me, but also grabbing me sexually and talking about how much he loves my body, I have no problem with this for a while.

By the end of the day, we’re chilling playing video games and he starts playing with my boobs and rubbing my undies. I told him to stop because we’re playing the last of us 2 and I’m in combat with zombies (not feeling particularly sexy lol).

Later we’re brushing our teeth in bed and I said something about his sex toy being on the nightstand, and this led to him making a face at me and pulling down his underwear. Mind you, it’s 1:45am and we stayed up later than preferred playing video games. I pet his stomach a bit and give him loving touches, and pull his undies back up while making a sleepy face and said I’d like to have some morning sex.

After brushing my teeth, he said “I can’t wait to have morning sex with you, i love our Sunday mornings”. At this point, I’m kind of feeling very objectified and like a sex toy because- we’ve been having sex but, my brother in Christ, take it easy!

I said something along the lines of “babe, I don’t know if I’ll be in the mood for morning sex, this whole day has felt very sex focused with a lot of grabbing, groping, and genitals, and I’m feeling a certain way about it (I don’t know why I worded it like that).

He looked at me and said “okay, I’ll tone it down” and pulled down his eye mask to go to sleep. I felt shut down, so I just turned off the lights and laid down. He said “goodnight, I love you” and I said “I love you too baby”.

Now, we usually cuddle before bed. He did not initiate cuddles, and neither did I. Eventually I turned away from him and put my foot on his leg (we’ve talked about maintaining affectionate touch even if we’re feeling upset), he did not respond. After 10min or so, I turned towards him and said “you seemed withdrawn after I brought up the sex thing” and he said “I’m not withdrawn, I’m just here going to sleep”. I turned away and cried myself to sleep at this point.

This morning, I was semi awake and felt him stirring around, so I put my foot on him again, and then turned over to put my hand on his chest. Again, no response. He eventually moved and I moved my hand off his chest. I asked if he was awake, he replied “uh-huh” quietly. We made some awkward small talk about sleep and breakfast. I asked him what’s going on with him, he didn’t reply (eyes closed, not looking at me). I added that I would like to understand because I noticed since I brought up the sex focused affection to him last night, I noticed he withdrew his affection altogether and I’m having trouble not assigning meaning to that. He goes “if you reject my sexual advances you can’t expect me to be perfectly intimate, I don’t want intimate touch right now”. He got up and started doing chores and I cried for a little. Now we’re both distant and doing our own thing.

I’m so lost right now. Did I do something wrong? Is he being as much of an ahole as it feels to me? Should I think more about how he might be feeling rejected? I don’t know what to think honestly.