Should i tell him or not?

Question

So me and this guy been talking for awhile but we’re not official. I live with my husband but we’re not together, for now it’s the only option we got. Also i’m getting to the end of my pregnancy with my husband. So tonight i asked him to put shea butter on my sides to prevent stretch marks n he did he started touching me n stuff then forces his dick in i wanted to say no but i just went with it in the moment cause ig i got used to it. But i feel like my body is rejecting him because literally after he got done i could barely breathe right n felt like o was about to pass out. So anyways i feel horrible because i did what i did n feel like i should tell the other guy because he’s just a really good guy but ig since we never made thing’s official idk if i should actually tell him even tho i feel like i really like him and he likes me but idk what i should do rn

Accepted Answer

Girl cmon you couldve put on your own shea butter, Ive done it countless times. And even *if* you needed help, you didnt have to be laying down or naked/in your panties to where it 'just slipped in'. The way you describe the whole situation it's like youre a passive passenger in your own life. You made a choice to sleep with your husband. And youre involved with this guy under the false information that it's really over between you and your husband, because if you still have sex even occasionally, it isnt really over. It isnt the same as if you went on a date with another guy, you dont owe him exclusivity that way, but having sex with your husand you claim to be separated from is entirely different. I was with a guy who was separated from his wife, he even had his own apartment. He pulled the "it's really over, we just see each other to coparent, we havent had sex in months' card to get me, and then when I found out they were still having sex, he also pulled the 'welllllll it just happened and hey we are married so it's allowed and hey we arent really together' card after I found out. I would have NEVER gotten involved with a married man knowing he still sleeps with his WIFE. It is NOT the same as 2 singles not being exclusive yet. You need to woman up and either tell the guy, or end it. It is not fair if he finds out later on that he got involved with you and you were still sleeping with your husband, thinking it was really over. In my book, hes unknowingly participating in adultery at this point, thats how I felt in my situation anyway and it disgusts me even more than my other ex who cheated on me. I also recommend contemplating the situation with your husband. You clearly still have feelings there, and this is going to be a very unstable situation for your child. You need to either get back together and go to couples counseling or really truly be roommates/coparents and not do things like ask the other to rub lotion on you.

Answer

It kinda sounds like you and your husband maybe aren’t really over each other if you’re still being intimate.. even though you and the other guy aren’t together I would tell him only if you think he would be upset by it. Just be up front about the situation that way he doesn’t get the wrong message or something and nobody gets their feelings hurt.

Answer

How are you gonna comment that you and your husband hadn’t been intimate for a year before this but you’re also 8-9 months pregnant? And you’re married and maybe over him but not sure…. Lmao for sure a troll of seventy shades of stupidly messy. Yikes.

Answer

First, don’t have another human rub lotion all over you and not expect them to try anything. Second, if you said no and he kept going… that’s rape. And third.. you should probably stay single until you get you shit figured out. Your still technically married and living together. Now is not the time to worry about another man getting mixed in.

Answer

You obviously have a man with your husband around 🙄 yes that man needs to know youre screwing around with him

Answer

I won't tell him, but what I will do is to be honest with myself about the intention I have regaring both men. I will also take responsibility and assume that I slept with my husband because I wanted. Do not waste people time, no one deserve that

Answer

I would recommend focusing just on the baby and yourself right now, and leave the relationship stuff until after the baby is born. You need to be responsible and reasonable right now and think about the future of your baby and what’s best.

Answer

Im confused so you owe your friend guy an apology for sleeping with your husband? Im sorry just trying to understand this. Do your husband know that your talking to anything guy? If not would you owe him an apology or explanation? Or no because y'all separate but live together but married. Im just curious but ion feel like you owe the new guy any explanation however he doesn't deserve to be in your lovers triangle either. Just leave him and any other man alone until your divorce, not pregnant, and fully healed.

Answer

This is messy. Let that other guy go for all of your sakes. Don’t start a new relationship when u still have heavy ties to ur husband. If you are moving on, move on once you’ve cut ties with your husband as far as living and contractual marriage. Plus if your husband is good enough to you for him to live with you, rub u when you need it, and even have sex, give your child another shot at having a happy home. If that’s off the table, at least don’t bring a child into all this confusion. 
And to clarify, your body isn’t rejecting him, sounds like you had a panic attack because of the guilt for the other guy. Don’t put yourself through this when you will have a whole child to adapt to.

Answer

Nope, don’t tell him anything. It’s none of his business. You said you guys are just talking, so there’s no need to mention it. I mean what are you trying to accomplish by telling him when nothing is official? Plus he’s still your husband, it is what it is. 🤌🏼

Should i tell him or not?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey