Sitting here crying because I didn’t get to go to the store.

It’s sad that something this simple can make me upset to the point of crying tears, but being a SAHM is just becoming too much for me. Everyone wants to be a SAHM but I never see anyone talk about how lonely and overwhelming it is, at least it is for me. I sit at home 7 days a week with a toddler and soon to be newborn as well. I do not get to leave the house for literally anything I need unless it’s absolutely necessary which is just doctors appointments every few months. Otherwise I do not leave. I don’t get to grocery shop, I don’t get to go ANYwhere. My boyfriend will not take me and our toddler anywhere with him because I “take too long in stores” and our toddler “is too big of a handful” and he doesn’t wanna deal with it or doesn’t “feel like taking us” he “doesn’t wanna wait on us to get ready” and he’s “quicker” so I always get left at home with our child every. single. time. I’ve been out of panty liners for almost 2 weeks and have been asking him to get me some and he finally said he’d go to the store today so I begged him for me and our toddler to go because even getting out of the house to simply go to the store for panty liners would almost feels like a vacation for me at this point. I just want SOME reason to get ready and get out of this house even if it is to just go to the store for 5 minutes I just want to feel like a person. I got told no because of reasons xyz so now I’m just sitting here home alone once again crying over something so stupid. I have to order groceries online every time we need food and the orders seem to always miss so many things, and if I need any personal items I just have to either go without or wait for him to “feel like” going to the store for me. I stare at the same 4 walls every day of my life. I live the same day over and over and over again. I feel so bad for my toddler because he sees me cry almost every single day from just feeling so stuck in my life. My bf gets to work, he gets to have his own car, he gets to have money to spend, he gets to get things he needs without having to ask someone else to do it and wait on someone else, all while I simply rot away at home and can’t support myself in the slightest way. I’m grateful that I get to stay home with my child and I absolutely hate complaining because I know other moms would love to be SAHM but god, I have just lost myself and have no idea who I am anymore. I literally cry over not being able to do these simple things that other people just do. Does anyone else feel like this?

Update-he’s back from the store and got everything BUT the panty liners.😭😭 this is why I hate when he goes by himself. Looks like I’ll probably be doing without until he feels like going to the store again because he is definitely not going to go back today.