Does it matter if he wasn't a great dad

Question

Purely hypothetical, I was having this conversation with a friend. Does it matter if your partner (Whom you have an amazing 2 year relationship with) was an absent father but ALL your kids are now adults in their 20's and you not going to have any kids together? You are completely compatible, want the same things and are very in love and don't plan on having kids since you both have grown adult children. However, people bring up how he was a not a bad father, but a lukewarm one who just payed child-support but didn't really see his kid (kid lived with him for a year after a fight with mom). Does being a good dad still play a factor under these circumstances?

Answer

I wouldn’t be with someone who never saw their kid & only did the bare minimum, such as paying child support ‘& never spending time with them, unless their was some type of extenuating circus that prevented them from being present in their child’s life. To me that says a lot about their character & I wouldn’t like that.

Answer

If a man can’t even treat his own kids right, why would you expect him to treat you any better? Red flag.

Answer

I mean, for me, it would be a dealbreaker. I wouldn't have any interest in being with someone who was consistently uninvolved with their own children. If that doesn't matter to you since they're all grown, that's your choice, but I would feel like that speaks to his character and it would personally put me off.

Answer

I couldn't be compatible with someone like that.

Answer

I dont see how he could be compatible if he wasnt a good dad to your kids. My partner is not thr father to 3 of my children and hr is amazing with them- a lot better than their bio dad.

Answer

Being that you already agreed not to have kids unless they are an accident or sabotaged with holes in condoms or not taking pill on purpose etc. kids are off the table so why even discuss it. He did the minimal as a father. Having kids now most likely he would do the same so don’t be shocked raising the kid on your own, unless otherwise stated that he would be more involved.

Answer

It tells you exactly who he is. I wouldn't want to be with someone who shut their kids out.

Answer

Since you don’t plan to have kids together, then ya it could work. 
I am a believer there’s 3 sides to every story, her side, his side and the truth. Not every situation is the same but sometimes another parent cuts the other out justifyably or are bitter and do it. Sometimes there’s substance abuse issues that were present at one time but are no longer. Some people have unplanned pregnancies and never had a relationship with the other parent which caused obstacles. Or the primary parent got remarried early in the child’s life and they know that step parent as parent more than other bio parent. 
My neighbor is in his 60s, a great friend to my family and nice guy. I guess he has two adult children my age. I’ve never seen or met them. I don’t think he was involved much aside from financially. Idk his story, not my business. But if you were romantically involved you’d need to know. He’s been married about 15 years now to a wonderful woman. If I had to take a wild guess is he was young and immature when his sons were born and their mom remarried when they were very little

Does it matter if he wasn't a great dad

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