What do you do for discipline?

My son he is disobedient he does things he shouldn't he has a lot of energy and I have problems raising him into a good person into a gentleman who has good manners I am so lost what to do with instruction, discipline, parenting. Age seven what helps you raise children who listen and respect you and understand your reasoning why something is not allowed or too dangerous there's a lot of why and I don't want to clean do chores and why can't I do this and please just let me and it's a lot like of back and forth discussion instead of I understand mom I explain and have conversations but it's like it's something he's not supposed to do for example we are at a friend's and he goes to open there refrigerator and help himself to food even though prior he already ate and I tell him please come here, don't do that and he will say no it's okay and stays over there and when it's time to leave I say it's time to go and he stares at me shake his head no says no and continues what he is doing I have to go to where he is and say it's time to go. Sometimes he gets upset and angry because of rules, chores or time to go and I would like there to be a better way to help get him to understand. I don't want him to think it's okay to have a messy room messy house not clean up after himself not listen to rules not having to do chores and help not helping