Recovering trust after broken boundaries.

Hey so I need a bit of advice and don’t really have any close women in my life to ask.

Me (20f) and my partner (40m) have been together for around 6 months. Everything is generally perfect, I feel very safe and loved and appreciated, same sense of humour, values and interests.

I have some boundaries that I have made very clear on multiple occasions on what I want in my partner, I don’t agree with anybody consuming porn, or following any women that post suggestive content. I don’t post or consume this stuff myself either. Also with opposite sex friendships I expect there to be clear lines drawn and be purely platonic. My two best friends are both men and I again follow the same values with those friendships myself.

My partner agreed to this and removed all (or what I believed to be all) of this stuff from his socials. I saw recently that my partner was still following a girl that I was aware he was flirting with and had the intention of sleeping with right up until we were together. She also posts pretty sexualised stuff on her socials, underwear pictures etc, which he had commented on in the past in a suggestive way. I asked him about it, he agreed to remove it but also got defensive and said that she was just a friend and they never did anything together, and he didn’t think the pictures would be a problem because they were just artsy (again, he commented on them flirtatiously). He has since messaged her to explain why they can’t talk anymore and unfollowed everywhere.

I am happy with the solution but we have had a couple of instances where I have had to remind him of the clear cut lines I have drawn, if he didn’t think it was okay he could have walked away but agreed. This time I feel pretty defeated because it feels like I’m not being heard. It isn’t a jealousy thing, he has close female friendships and I have close male friendships, it’s just crossing two lines for me and he knew this but claimed it to be fine for all sorts of excuses and reasons.

How do I get over feeling like this will happen again, or that I am not enough to have my opinions heard and respected? It may seem like something small but when I set a boundary, whatever that may be, it feels really disrespectful if it is broken. I’d like to get back to a place where this isn’t a worry in my head.