How do you accept the fact that your done having babies?

My husband had a vasectomy back in 2020. I told myself I was completely done having babies. I have a 4 year old and after that I had my son who was born a preemie and I was scared to death when he was in nicu for 3 months before he finally came home. I didn’t know that half of me just wants to have another child I just don’t know. Looking back at my kids pictures and videos when they were babies just makes me so sad I will never experience that again. I must admit I fuckin miss it. I see pregnant bellies newborns my niece is 5 months old and I just miss that stage of life. I miss the newborn cuddles, the breastfeeding, growing a life inside of me etc. I also understand having my son diagnosed with autism level 3 has been difficult and as a mother I will always accept him for who he is and he has been getting the help he needs he’s only 3. I do miss the sleepless nights first steps 😔 Watching them go to school for the first time I cried. Trying to give my 4 year old kisses cause I still see her as this little baby she said no mommy not right now or I can do it mommy remember I’m a big girl. As a mother myself I know I did one hell good of a job when they were babies just makes me sad that I will never experience that. I miss being in the labor and delivery room the feeling when your baby is finally here I cried tears when both of my kids came out but scared when my son was born early 27 weeker. I just need help ladies. How did you cope? How can I overcome this and accept the fact I can’t have a 3rd anymore? Thank you