In the postpartum trenches 😣

We’ve all been sick. My husbands been moping around and sleeping for days but me being mom, have to take care of children 7, 1 and newborn. Getting no sleep and struggling. Keeping the house going doing laundry, dishes; bottles, animals etc. My husbands complaining I give him no attention and I can’t take it anymore. He’s never there for me when I’m sick or need him. We’ve had a terrible marriage the last few years. I keep wanting to leave. I don’t love him anymore but I’m SAHM and right now is an awful time for me to try to figure things out. I feel like I’m drowning and he’s just so mean to me. When he does try to help with the kids it’s the bare minimum and half assed effort. I tried for so many years over our marriage but he chose drugs and alcohol. I always chose my children. I’ve wanted to leave for so long and I was working up a plan, but we had sex ONCE in a year and I ended up pregnant. I keep trying to make it work but it’s just not. I explain to him how I feel and how I need help not more hard times and he just makes me feel like complete garbage. Mind you I went out of my way with the kids to make him a big thanksgiving dinner. I’ve been doing everything while he laid there sick n watched football for days. I entertained some of his family members to meet he baby while I’m basically chugging caffeine to stay awake. There’s so much more but I just needed to vent. I basically have no family or friends to even talk to and I feel lost.