Where Do I Even Sleep Now?

Question

Okay ladies, 
Long post alert!

Heres the thing. I would like to think I would NEVER bash my SO to anyone, let alone to take a public site just as this to speak ill of him. So that being said, my post isnt about how awful he treats me or anything like that because its just not the case.

Recently, SO has started making little jokes about how i sleep so closely to him or how ill cuddle really close throughout the night. Well, over the course of a few weeks the little jokes have turned to frequent comments that are sometimes hurtful and imply he is annoyed with the matter of cuddling. While it may seem a but silly to seem, I am a very affectionate person with SO and these comments have left me uncomfortably aware of my proximity to him almost EVERYTIME we are by each other.

Well this morning it turns to a full argument because he yet again woke me up by saying things like "Are you close enough? Im just going to start sleeping on the floor." My feelings got hurt, asked him if it really annoys him that badly as he gets serious attitutude and continues to "inform me of how hard it is for him to sleep at night with me acting like that". We continue bickering for a moment when I just say okay Im just not going to sleep with you in our bed anymore.

Im sure the whole thing will blow over but man! I guess I just want to know of im crazy or if this would hurt anyone elses feelings as well and how they would proceed.

Answer

Honestly, it would probably hurt my feelings too if I thought my SO was annoyed by my closeness. And it would bother me if he started to make me feel bad about it. And I'm just a naturally stubborn person so I would stay in MY bed and make him go to another bed if he really didn't like it that much. And if he did go to another bed? Oh boy you best believe the claws would be comin out! Hahah! Sorry, on AF and its making me even more sensitive to the topic bc my SO and I always bicker the whole 5 days or so of my cycle. Good luck!

Answer

He might be "touched out", which means overstimulated with touch and therefore no longer able to enjoy it. I am also very physically affectionate, and have driven people away because of it before. Dial it down, way down, for now. You'll feel awful for a while and will experience a range of uncomfortable emotions. Eventually, you'll see him start to want to be close to you; this will be the hardest part! Because you'll want to go back to your old, overly affectionate ways. Don't go back, though, because it will drive him away. Let him be the one to hug you, to let you, to seek you out.

Answer

That's just plain rude. And I wouldn't be okay with this. I am a bed hogger. And I follow my husband to the edge of the bed trying to snuggle him and he'll wake me up playfully and go,"do you think you have enough of the bed yet?" And we'll laugh and go back to bed. It usually happens once a night. And this is how I am, I couldn't be with someone who didn't accept me and put me down over something I can't help.

Answer

Just scoot over lol tell him to nudge you if you get too close. Some people just get hot in their sleep

Answer

My favorite awkward memory growing up was walking into my parents room at night because of them causing a ruckus. My mom & dad were having an argument alongside a pillow fight because of my dads snoring. My mom got so mad & woke him up hitting him with a pillow lmao.

I don't think it's the end of the world with your SO.. He shouldn't be so passive aggressive about his comfort level at night by you cuddling with him. Instead of making jokes he should have just said nicely he'd rather not cuddle because he can't sleep comfortably that way. Some people just can't. He was wrong for his approach & I would have been hurt by his outburst too. Tell him to not be passive aggressive with you next time he's bothered by something, your feelings are valid & he was a butt face by being mean about it.

Answer

My ex couldn't stand snuggling at all really wasn't very affectionate. Solved the bed problem by getting a king sized bed and separate twin sized flat sheets and blankets. As for couch snuggling, it didn't happen often but when it did I followed his rules of staying still such as no caressing any part of his body. I could put my hand there and get adjusted comfortably and leave it there. We also NEVER held hands

Answer

Thanks everyone for the feedback😁 youre all correct, one way or another. I guess my issue is bigger than the fact that he wait til the next day to tell me i annoyed him in his sleep, leaving me with no way to fix the issue when it occurs, but rather that I fear it is a sign that he is starting to distance himself or maybe loose interest.

Probably just Being overly sensitvie and a bit insecure which is an issue ill need to resolve on my own.

Where Do I Even Sleep Now?

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