Husband broke me-now what ?

I’ve been through some awful things with him, caused by him. About 3 years ago I mentally checked out of the marriage but we still live together and coparent just fine. We live in separate parts of the house. Raising 3 young children. I stay at home while he works. I’ve had a few odd jobs here and there but nothing steady. Here’s the thing- he’s growing frustrated with lack of physical touch/intimacy and my lack of care towards him. Any time I try to explain my feelings he gets defensive and tells me I’m a bad wife. He tells me I need to get over the past and he’s changed- which he has alot but my feelings have already been long gone. Now when he does similar hurtful things I don’t get upset. I don’t worry about where he is or what he does except it realy effects my children and that breaks my heart. I feel as we’ve been separated for years but he still tries to push being married. He’s told me he feels so lonely etc but I don’t know what to do anymore. His dog of 14 years just died so I’m trying to be empathetic. We’ve been with eachother for 9 years. I care about him as a friend but not a wife. I don’t have any friends or close family so I guess I sorta stay because he’s all I have- besides my kids. I just feel confused.