I can’t handle my 3 year old anymore

My 3.5 year old is testing me in ways I’ve never been tested before. For the first time ever I’m so sad about being his mother, him being my son. I can’t handle him anymore and I don’t know where to go anymore.

Since the age of 2 my son has been displaying difficult behaviour. Besides having a medium speech delay, he struggles with emotions regulation and gets angry very very quickly. Lately he has begun hitting me even if I accidentally get in his way and say sorry. I try to be very firm but still he continues to try hitting me he cries at every single small thing. For example sometimes he wakes up in a bad mood (about 3 times out of the week) and doesn’t stop crying for even up to 30 mins. He cries if I place his bottle slightly in the wrong position, if there’s a loose seam in his shirt, just anything he will cry about and begins screaming and doesn’t stop. All his doctors have ruled out autism and say he needs occupational therapy and a child psychiatrist which we are trying to get funding for.

His father has been overseas for about 2 weeks so I know that’s got an impact. He honestly has a huge cry at least every hour and I can’t handle this anymore, I’m beginning to really hate my life and can’t stand to be around him. Please please some words of wisdom or advice would be so appreciated right now. I’m crying as I type this because I’m honestly just so upset.

Also side note he started daycare 2 days a week just this week, he’s super shy there but he still plays and his teachers say he’s great.