Husband is embarresed i asked my mom for help

So i freelance so my income is up and down. My husband has presented to be pretty selfish person, he puts himself first always. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve ever asked for financial help. He has asked me plenty and i have helped with open heart in the past. We go 50/50, so after we do that he only spends on himself. I actually still pay more than 50 because we have kids. Anyway, during winter months my gigs slow down. Im usually fine saving for this time but sometimes it catches up to me to where i may need help. February, some of my payments didn’t come through so i needed help covering a small portion of my rent. I ended up asking my mom. She helped me. In conversation today i brought it up to my husband and he got upset. He said he is embarrassed because i asked her that means he is a bad husband. I told him he doesn’t have to be embarrassed. I did what i had to because honestly he wouldn’t help me based on the way he goes about our finances. He never concern himself with what goes on with me. Even if i mention here and there that im struggling he goes and buys 1000$ worth of shirts, so after being together for 10 yrs i honestly feel i am a single mom married to him. He helped one time and i never heard the end of it, i ended up paying him back the same week. Another time he paid rent during the first two months of corona lockdown and he asked me back for that money. Recently he spent $1000 on a plane ticket abroad for the month of May to go relax abroad. We live two completely separate lives. I freelance and he collects military benefits. Im just confused why he is embarrassed when he is of no help to me.