I never wanted to be a wife or mother...

I hate my life... I didn't want this. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a wife. I had dreams. I wanted to leave and go to college. My parents forced me into a relationship and marriage I didn't want when I was 17. My husband is 24 years older than me. I hate him. I never wanted children. I never wanted to give him children. So he forced me. If I don't give him sex he takes it anyway. I'm pregnant with our 6th child and I have never been more miserable in my life. I'm trapped in this life. I have no friends. All my family wanted this for me. I have nothing else going for me... I'll continue to have children that I don't want, with a man that I don't love and be a sex toy worthless person. I just want everything to go away....

@Lydia I'm not allowed friends. I can't even leave the house without my husband's permission. My life is the worst it can be. When I'm not even allowed to not say no to sex. I have been assaulted over thousands of times in my marriage. I don't want anymore kids but I know I will be forced to have them. Nothing in my life is good. There is no joy and will never be joy. I can only hope that this last baby takes me out.