I'm torn about leaving my 17-year marriage due to my husband's consistent dismissiveness, infidelity, gaslighting, and manipulation. He prioritizes his own needs, rarely shows affection or compliments me, and has even engaged in online flirtations with other women complimenting and uplifting them.

Despite 7 years of marriage counseling and temporary changes on his end, our relationship is deteriorating into a roommate-like existence. We never sleep in the same bed, and arguments often escalate with him yelling, screaming, and threating to leave me. We rarely argue, once every 1-4 months.

While I cherish occasional moments of normalcy, I recognize that my husband's behavior is unlikely to change, and I've tried unsuccessfully to address these issues through therapy. As a woman in my 30s, he’s 50, with four teenage children (ages 13-18), I'm struggling to decide whether to stay or leave this unfulfilling marriage.i think apart of me feels bad for wanting to leave

I get this is who he is and unfortunately the lack of trust, communication, honesty, sex, affection and compliments is becoming a strong non negotiable aspect for me. But then when I say that out loud I feel I’m being selfish, like is it really fair to divorce cos I desire these things…marri

What do you ladies think advice would be very helpful.

Do I stay or bring up divorce?