Abortion grief getting worse?

It just seems like as time goes by I’m drowning more and more in grief. I don’t feel happy anymore, I feel like a failure. I’m reminded everywhere that my baby should be here and they are not. I had an abortion because of medical issues. My partner doesn’t want to TTC anymore. It’s been 7 months since my abortion and I’m constantly thinking how I should have given birth around this time. My anxiety and depression are the worst it’s ever been, I’ve tried several different antidepressants and none have helped. How do I heal from this trauma? I’m so tired of feeling heartbroken, that my life will never be the same again, and drowning in this grief.