Anal help

I’ve never had anal before and really want to try it. I’ve used burr plugs and anal beads and have had the head of a penis in there but it hurts so bad lmao. The small but plugs hurt as well and well are just uncomfortable to wear to stretch and get it ready lol. Any tips or tricks or good things to use to help to make it not so painful the first few times would be great! I have a desensitizing lube but it doesn’t really help anything lol makes it feel like icy hot..