Is some of this genuine? Or is it all abuse/control?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. But we’re pretty on and off (his doing really). He’s honestly awful. But surprisingly he’s the least toxic person in my life. My family dumped me off after my dad died and he’s been the only person any supportive through it

Anyways last night I asked him if he talks about me to his friends. He says he tells them that he feels stupid for tolerating me and how he tells them he stays because he’s worried I’ll self harm. (I did ONCE two years ago when he did that the DAY AFTER I got SA’ed. But he’s broken up with me probably a million times since then and I didn’t. I also just find it hard to believe he stayed for yrs purely because of that because he also questions all my friends and wants to know what I’m doing and makes comments about how I dress and what I do.) I was like “?? Okay. If you really feel that way then just go” and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night. He quadruple texted me and was like “are you done with me??” Even texted me the next morning and was like “goodmorning? What’s going on?”

We got into a fight today and he told me that he thinks he’s done with me for real. We talked a little bit more and then he was like “we’ll see how things go but this is the last time I do this” and I was like “do what?” And he said “change my mind about dumping you”. But now I feel like I’m on egg shells because I’m scared any little thing I do could set him off and he’ll leave. Last week he told me that if I just listen to him and what he wants, we’ll fight less. I talked about going to a bar tonight and he said that if I “do dumb shit he’s not going to stick around”. He said that if I want to hangout with him tonight after his friends leave, I should “stay free and he’ll let me know”.