As a mother, I feel so defeated

I’ve had a very tumultuous relationship for 10 years. Within these 10 years we got married and had 2 children. We are at the point of separation because we can’t seem to get along or agree on anything. We argue constantly and it’s not a good environment for our children.

I’ve been a stay at home mom for the past 7 years and put my education on hold for some years to focus on and embrace those early years of my babies.

I have since started again and will have my bachelors degree in a few months, however, I still have about a year of the program I will be joining.

With that being said, I don’t have a penny to my name. My husband is pretty well off though. He finished school and landed himself a great job.

The plan was to move into my parents house for a little bit and they would help me pay for an apartment. My husband began telling me how selfish I was for wanting to put my children in an apartment and that I’m only thinking about my happiness.

Living at my parents house is not the ideal living situation. The 3 of us (my kids and I) would be sharing one tiny room and the house itself is pretty small. There’s already 5 people living there.

Living with my husband is so toxic and I have immense mom guilt for putting my children through this. I have immense mom guilt for not even being able to afford anything for them. For not finishing school. For not working. For potentially putting them through a separation. For potentially having them live out of their comfort zone. I just feel like in my husbands eyes, I will never be a good enough mother. I can never seem to do anything right as a mother, no matter how hard I try.