Will I feel that way about my own?

Question

I am 28 and up until now I haven’t considered having children. The only main reason I don’t, is because of financial issues. It would be a terrible time to have them, we are not equipped to have them right now financially, the cost of living is insane. I am still young though, I would eventually LIKE to. I’ve always been a little worried that kids would make me miserable and drive me insane. I mean once you have that baby there’s no going back, that’s a huge permanent life altering decision and you do not get breaks. I do not enjoy being around peoples kids until all my siblings started having babies. I like these little people, I’ve never said no if i am asked to baby sit because I genuinely enjoy being with them. They don’t get on my nerves, I don’t mind them in my space and I enjoy being nurturing towards them. I like making them food, brushing their hair and just doing the general care. I love their little faces. My heart is really soft towards them, and I was thinking… if I feel that way about the kids that are just my nieces and nephews, I’d definitely feel that way about my own kid right? Is having them 24/7 really that different? (When it comes to how much you like doing it)- Do you continue to like being a caregiver if you’re doing it 24/7?

Answer

Typically you’re going to like being around kids who have parents you like, who make parenting choices you would make. Your siblings, I’m assuming, were raised with you so you have similar experiences that shape how you parent resulting in kids with personalities you tolerate. There are many parents who don’t love parenting and find it to be incredibly difficult. You’ll hear it admitted more in older generations who have grandchildren and will now say how much better it is to be a grandparent because you get all the ‘good’ from being around the kids and give them back for the hard stuff. I don’t find parenting my kids to be difficult, I am confident in my decisions, my kids reflect the type of person I am, they can definitely annoy me with the constant bickering because they’re 8 and 4, but overall there aren’t two other people I’d rather hang out with. I spend a lot of time around kids, I volunteer for a bunch of kid related organizations and do find it regularly unenjoyable to be around other people’s children, particularly three types of parents create those children, the spankers (they’re kids are animals when they’re not there to threaten physical violence), the young parents (they’re kids are typically spoiled, they overcompensate for their insecurities by saying yes everything to make their kids ‘happy’ but just create entitled brats), and the unintelligent/emotionally immature (their kids just make bad choices regularly and can’t control themselves because they’re kids have zero example of how to function). Sometimes those categories overlap, then you have a real monster of a kid. I will say financial situations rarely impact how tolerable a kid is, I know some kids who have parents on every type of benefit possible and they are absolute adorable angels to be around, and others whose parents could buy my town and they are terrorists. I do understand why you would want to wait to be in a more financially stable position though, it does make things easier, but I’d be concerned, especially if you’re in the US under this current administration that you won’t be in that perfect position for a while.

Answer

It's a life adjustment in the beginning. But never have my children ever made miserable. 0 regrets.

Answer

As someone who prayed for kids and absolutely loves my own, i wouldn't suggest having kids if you have these doubts. It's all worth it to all the moms who answered...but what else can they say? The moms who think it isn't worth it don't use this app. Babies can make you feel miserable, toddlers can drive you insane, teenagers can worry you to death. I had no clue motherhood would be so hard and challenging in so many different ways. Don't have kids if you already think it'll make you miserable bc any insecurities will be x1000 once you have them.

Answer

Having your own children is much different than babysitting occasionally.

Answer

I have 4 kids and am crazy about them but most other people's kids annoy me lol.

Answer

I have always been good with children, but i think the little ones are gross (toddlers and kids under 8). Theyre sticky and they dont cover their nose or mouth when they should and they cant usually properly communicateif theyre sick and etc.. Id never let a child catch on to that being my feelings. I even used to do free babysitting for a single mother down the street, so she could go run errands or get breaks and her kids were 5 and 3. But to sum up mu answer. Yes, you will feel differently about your own kids. I have 4 children ages, 6,4,3,and 16m). I even want one more. I LOVE my kids. I think theyre great, and funny and sweet. But they are messy, ill still be happy when theyre old enough to clean up after themselves in detail. It totally helps if you work super hard to teach them the extent of their capabilities and enforce them cleaning. My kids can pick up toys, trash, dirty laundry, put their own dishes in the sink, and older ones can sort clean clothes, wipe stuff down (not perfectly but they do well), make beds, and kind of mop and vacuum, although i go behind them and do that properly. Luckily i am also a minimalist. So there is not as much for them to tear up or destroy.

Answer

It is challenging at times. BUT When i look at those little faces all of it is worth it. However, if you have any doubt, wait until you are ready.

Answer

I was 25 when I gave birth to my first and I can say I was ready to be a mom but I still had a plan for “my life”. I spent majority of her first year being mommy in the day time & still wanting to be myself in the night/weekends bc I didn’t want being a mom to “consume” me. As the time went on, living the double life just wasn’t doing it for me. Having a kid changes your goals/perspectives in itself for some. It went from “drunken girls nights” to “hey ladies, let’s go have lunch”. Granted my friends still have their fun but in time I just preferred to be home with my kid Fast forward, she just turned 2, I’ll be 27 in May &  baby boy is due a week after. I’m a full time stay at home mom now. I moved 20 hours away from my home state and completely live a different life than what I imagined after having her. Wouldn’t trade it for a thing.

Will I feel that way about my own?

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