Am I being ridiculous?

My husband and I use to have sex almost daily. Then he started having hormone issues- more specifically his estrogen being extremely high, with his testosterone being really low. They never could figure out what caused this, but he started medication. His drive came back and he wanted sex all the time, BUT could not get erect and perform for long. So I started giving handies, in return I got oral. This has been going on for a year now, and honestly I really want the intimacy and penetration we used to have. When I expressed this he told me that he takes care of my needs and I’m being selfish. He said he feels like I’m nit picking how our sex is and should be.… all I wanted was penetration… he rather fuck me with a dildo.

Recently he told me that his head is numb from all the handjobs and how he wants to back off of them…. It’s a nightly thing, and if i don’t do it he gets crabby.

We barely have sex 3 times a month now. If I complain he gets upset…. Am in in the wrong for wanting more penetration?