Spouse yelling and cursing in argument

Anytime I try to have this same type of conversation with my husband, he’s immediately triggered but also simultaneously refuses to find a solution. I’ve been asking him to clean up a space in our house for well over a year now because it looks like a dumpster fire. I’ve cleaned it up twice already in the years we’ve lived together, and now I’m done trying to help. It’s been negatively effecting me personally because it’s been impossible to use. It’s to the point where it’s become a fire and safety hazard. I need to be able to store cleaning items and other household things here, as we don’t have space. He says he will clean it, but he never does and straight up lies about it. He’s done this with other things such as cleaning bathrooms. He’ll lie about it, then turn it on me saying “nothing is ever to your standards!”

Well this time around I shows him once again that he’s deliberately lying to me about cleaning this space. I’m trying to stay calm, but he’s yelling and cursing at me to the point where are neighbor property hears it all. He isn’t screaming, but it’s louder enough. This is how it goes when I try to have another real conversation with him. I keep my voice low and calm, asking him to stop yelling. He responds with “I’ll f***ing yell if I want to.” He becomes defensive immediately, curses, blames me, then in the end I don’t even know what we accomplished.

Then later he’ll usually be all calm, then apologize for yelling at me. But he never revisits the issue at hand. I asked him “what can I do to help you more?” And all he says is “just try to understand me.” Ultimately meaning- I will not change and don’t expect me to ever do what you asked me to do. Is it abusive if this is what he does every single time I try to talk about something difficult or uncomfortable?

I sometimes wonder if I’m actually the problem here, and this is why he’s pushed to this point when I try to have a real conversation. He does this of straight up stonewalls any difficult conversation. Outside of this he behaves as though everything is fine. So long as I don’t push for any hard conversations he’s perfectly happy.

Edit: I’ve been in therapy for a year now mainly because of the marriage, and to work on myself. We’ve tried to do counseling, but he’s taken no interest in it after I set up an intake appointment for us both.