Post weed and sex

My bf quit weed a few days ago. He was high pretty much all the time. He would be high EVERY time we had sex for the past few years. I don’t initiate bc I’m shy and this whole thing kind of hit my confidence a lot so I’m very insecure with my body despite being the same weight and looking the same for our entire five year relationship. Last night he initiated sex but when he was about to go in he got soft. We eventually got to it but I just teared up really upset bc I keep thinking he’s not attached to me. We are both really awkward with sex even tho it’s been five years but I think sober sex is awkward bc he’s so used to being high. He told me I’m the love of his life and he doesn’t care if we never have sex again, I’m the person he wants to be with forever. This validated me a lot but I do still want to be sexy for him and turn him on. He said it would be hot if I did kegels while he’s inside but like :/ that makes me feel like I’m loose or something. He also wants to me to initiate more but like I want him to be devouring me more too. I hate how he never gets turned on around me anymore. Does anyone have any advice?